Madonna and the Halftime Flash in the Pan

I know I closed out my Superbowl discussion yesterday with my analysis of Giselle's post-game rant. But halftime is another matter.

I sort of hated the halftime show. To be fair, I haven't ever liked Madonna. She scared me at the beginning, the way Gaga scared me at the beginning. I woke up one night in the early 80's to see Madge on TV in a wedding gown rolling around on the stage doing "Like a Virgin." It was edgy, at the time, and strange-scary - I clearly remember how uncomfortable and weirded out I was, so I guess that passes for Art. But then she became infamous and somehow "representative" of genius, as if that can occur, took it upon herself to wear the cross (ha! Madonna double entendre there!) of whatever cause it is she represents (just liberalism, I think, that "I'm so free-thinking, I don't know I'm stuck in a box" type of thing), and self-destructed. Same thing with Gaga - she was just-dancing along with her poker face, ear glued to her telephone, doing great, and suddenly, she's stuck in an egg belting out uninspired, politically correct, self-aggrandizing drivel, that ironically, sounds like Madonna in the way-back machine. Look at me, what an artistic genius I am - I was born this way! And you thought it was all about why we can't all just get along, imagine no religion, and it don't matter if you're black or white. (Been done.) Just in case you thought she wasn't cutting edge, she tells you that she is - "I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge...." But she's over the edge. Has-been. More soft sizzles of self-immolation.

Back to Madonna. She is apparently mad that MIA briefly flipped us all the bird and sang "I don't give a ---" in the middle of Madonna's new single, originally entitled "Give Me all Your Luvin''". (See, when you change up the spelling a little - this is not ZZ Top's "Gimme All your Lovin'." It's "Give Me" and "Luvin'." The "Luvin'" part - the u for the o - genius. Art there.) I'll agree that MIA did not display proper decorum for a nationally televised family event. (Although I thought her lyrics fit right in. Doesn't Adam Levine sing the same line in "Moves Like Jagger"? I didn't know it wasn't part of the song.) But yeah, we don't want to see and hear that stuff - just give us more Viagra ads, so we can enjoy our wings and chili en famille, please. Assuming all participants were briefed that they were to remain clothed and stick to the lyrics and choreography, Madonna has the right to be miffed.

But really? She's not. Cause you know what we'd all be talking about if MIA hadn't saved the day with her middle finger and mild profanity? How OLD Madge got. Honestly, she pranced around in those heels and her skinny legs looking not a day younger than Dolly Parton. Did you see her not quite make it up to the riser on her first attempt? Same thing happens to me in the bleachers at my son's basketball games. Old. Just don't put it on stage in front of the world trying to look young. You just make yourself irrelevant. Gotta take it in a different direction, if you ask me, girl. The days of kissing Britney on the lips are over. You can't shock, not in that edgy, good way, anymore.