Giselle's Tebow Fail

Why am I so motivated by Tom and Giselle to comment in the blogosphere? Well, not really Tom this time. Just Giselle. Condolences to Tom and the Pats.

You just have to react to Giselle the last few days. First the email, seeking prayers and karma, etc. for Tom and the boys. I didn't really get why people found this so wrong. Aren't they the same people who get a kick out of Tebowing? "Course, we don't KNOW what Tim's saying to The Greater Power when he feels the urge to take a knee before kickoff, but isn't it a safe bet that it might include something about winning the game? I mean, maybe not. Maybe Tim thinks it's wrong to waste His infinite time and attention on something as trivial as game results. Especially just before kickoff, when He's probably getting Himself a cold one and some wings. Or maybe Tim suspects that He has a bet riding on the other side, or that, as it turns out, He's a Giants fan. Or worse, that some other QB can catapult his own prayers higher and faster, and with more accuracy, than Tim's own (not so hard to imagine, is it?) Maybe Tim's all about putting a word in for the common good, health, safety, saving the children and world peace as part of his pre-game prep. Maybe. But that doesn't make Giselle's request for those near and dear to her, who bask in the shadow of her towering loveliness, wear her sandals and have her designer cast-offs taken up and let out by their dry-cleaner's tailor to stay in Her good graces by throwing some good karma in the Pats' direction. So let's give the girl a pass.

But now that we've given her the pass - CAN SHE CATCH IT? Sadly, G isn't good at catching passes. UNLIKE Wes Welker, for example, WHO IS!!! Her post-Superbowl rant about how, as godlike as we all know her hubby is, when he is in his carnate state, he can't both throw and catch his passes, was just not very, shall we say, "in the spirit"? As in "team spirit."

So that concludes this year's Superbowl.

P.S. Psyched for this year's San Francisco Writer's Conference? Feb. 16-19. Find out more @sfwriters and @writersdigest.

Loggia Envy

Jim has a bad case of loggia envy, and he doesn't even know what a loggia is. But Tom Brady has one. A covered one. And after staring at the photo of Tom's new 22,000+ square foot manse, under construction in Brentwood, he thinks he's figured out that it's a stylish small outbuilding going up slightly to the rear of the house. I don't know if he's right - I don't know what a loggia is either. And I WON'T look it up to find out. Because what I learned in the process of putting a big addition, including a new kitchen and three baths onto my home, is that once you learn about some new gadget, appliance, or luxury, you suddenly can't live without it. And I've been hanging in there without a loggia this far. I know, loggia afficionados, I just don't know what I'm missing. I'm an illogical, il-loggia-cal, ignoramus. I don't know the finer things.

Another thing Tom and Giselle have, that I don't:

HA-HA! About 100 billion things!!!!

But really, I was referring to the "lagoon-shaped" swimming pool at the new Brady-Bundchen spread. What the heck. I'll admit it. I don't know the shape of a lagoon. It never came up in geometry - I don't know the formula for calculating the area, or more accurately, the volume, of a lagoon. Judging from the pics though, it's long and curved, like a banana. A banana-shaped pool is what they really have, Tom and Giselle. But that just doesn't inspire the loggia envy the way a lagoon of your own does. In your own back yard. Or maybe front yard - it was hard to tell from the photos. I think it functions sort of like a moat. It's a big banana - the whole length, and more, of the humongous house. You could definitely swim some laps, get some exercise. Somehow, I just don't see it happening though. On reflection, I'm pretty sure the lagoon is just a moat in disguise. I don't have moat envy. So, I'm good.